Saturday, August 4, 2012

I found the answer

Finally, late night last night I found the answer.
It was not bother me at all, but all of a sudden, the answers just pop up:

What I've been consistent for the past 7 years?
1. I still trust him, up to today.  After what he has done to me
2. I haven't given up on our marriage.

I am so surprise, the answer is very negative.

1. ...if you had trust me... we wouldn't have resulted to this,... in the past you had lack the motivation to understand me and my beliefs and friends...
 
2. Have not given up on marriage on paper, does not mean they are still mentally together with each other.  There are many couples stay together because of paper or stay married,... but already lived separately or giving up on each other under one roof...
 
Now, is it some kind of "pride" and fear of been looked down... for this reason of staying together?
Now, is it some kind of "security" for the reason of staying together?
Now, is it "other" reasons for staying together because...?
 
 
I want you to be true to yourself.  I also tell myself that as well...  AND my belief and practice that I been sharing with you because it gave me confidence and courage to face this world.  It taught me how to extend my care beyond my comfort zone at times.  When I can live for others, and created positive changes to them, it made me happier.  Also at times, I also need my private space to live for myself too, so I can rejuvenate.
 
Be patient, TRY to see with your "open" mind, listen with your "open" heart, think with "open and caring" mind.  Feel what your heart and mind is telling you. 
 
Keep in mind, now is only talk and exchanges, when the actual event comes...  you still have to run the marathon on your own.

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