waking up

Finally. . . I am waking up from my real dream – night mare.  

Yes all over these years, I did not know.

Thanks for Jenny for NOT taking side and willing to see the whole pictures
Thanks for Fanny for being NEUTRAL and willing to listen and talk to me at my worse emotion.
Thanks for Beatrice for Her ears, understanding and calling me for long distance - not judging.
I am so blessed and graceful to have all of you as my friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBBjwlCcyOo

Finally. . . it's about time to wake up and be a better person, not only for yourself but for others.

Work it out around people, not the other way. Things around you are mattered, not be a center minded. Be patience and try to understand and listen.

1. It's NOT your house, you have NO right to FORBID someone to visit
2. Communicate is better than action.
3. Understand and Analyze, don't judge from the outside
4. Do NOT reject things you don't know
5. Use your BRAIN not EMOTION
6. Think before you speak, your mouth is your enemy.

It's NOT his fault; he tries to harmonize the whole things by not letting things go. He tries to keep it himself and hope things will change slowly to better. He is NOT black and white.

He went to the center to get advice for any options to save this marriage - I did not see it, He did not tell me directly. I am so blinded with all NEGATIVE things about center.

He tried to be closed, I rejected directly - that's how he felt. Did I? I did not know.

He tries to tell me INDIRECTLY possible separation if I leave for Taiwan - I did not get it.

      è I am NOT a bad person after all

      è Be STRONG and INDEPENDENT woman

è I will BOUNCE Back

è Don’t let people or emotion STEP all over me

è Be Patience and put ASIDE your pride

è Calm Down and think carefully

I know it’s will be tough on me and I need to do this by myself, I am the creator of all these to happen. 
So I will fix it in the RIGHT and FAIR ways, be honest to myself for all these years I had take things for granted.  I was so blessed to have an understanding husband, but I can’t see it, and at the end I LOST it. 
So please forgive me.

People have been very nice to work around me, but it’s NOT RIGHT.  I can’t see that either since no one tells me, someone might but I might have rejected the advice.
It was my fault for leaving you alone, the distance separates us slowly and I still can’t see the reality, again so black and white.  You become so independent and realize you don’t need me anymore since you are a better person without me.  You might have told me indirectly – I am so stupid and stubborn for NOT getting the message.

So next step:

1.       Step back, look back and analyze myself
2.       Be serious about my decision, I am NOT that kind of person. I can do Better and be a Better   person
3.       Don’t take things for granted
4.       He is NOT your property, he is human with feeling
5.       Listen and be humble, so you can see things around you with clear mind
6.       Don’t make Emotion overcome you, follow your HEART, but BRING your BRAIN with you
7.       Observe and be PATIENCE

Yes, I can do it

        I will since I am NOT a bad person.
       I Promise I will make it this time since he has suffered for     
         Being with me

Thanks for the chance you have given me
Thanks for all the support all these years
Thanks for being so patience and put up with my temper and attitude, and 

Thanks for loving and caring me. . . I really appreciate it

PROVE it. . .
tears drop for forgiveness . . .